Effective Communication – No ‘BUTS’ About it
Mar 6th 2012DrewAdvertising & Business & Marketing
Have you ever noticed how the word ‘but’ can stop you in your tracks? As you may already know, one of the things I love to do most is ski. Now that I am also instructing, the rewards are so much greater than I can describe. And I’m not talking about a financial reward. The pleasure of seeing a student achieve a new level of ability is priceless! Whether it’s being able to control speed and direction in a snow-plough or moving from the snow-plough to some form of parallel skiing, it doesn’t matter. The fact that they are improving is my reward. And, one thing the higher-level instructors teach us, is how to communicate with our students in a manner that allows us to critique their skiing without making them feel that everything they did on the last run was wrong. The technique is so simple. We find something nice to say about the last run: “Your last few turns were amazing!” or “I really like the way you were able to stop like that!”
Then we say, “To make things even better, if you were to …” and we talk about what needs improvement. That critical word, “BUT” never leaves my lips. I can never say, that was a great run, BUT you need to move your weight forward over your feet.” At the word, “BUT”, I would have lost the student’s attention and they would be less engaged in the improvement part of the conversation.
In using this language, we have the student engaged as we are complimenting them (who doesn’t like to be complimented?) and while we have them engaged, we can talk about what needs to be improved. When I was first introduced to this, I was blown away! I started using it with my children at home and with my staff at work. The results are incredible. Once, a new receptionist was answering our phone in a clear but very rapid voice. I told her I liked the way she answered the phone in such a clear, strong manner. She beamed. Then I said, “To make it even better, if you were to slow your delivery, people will be able to hear and comprehend your entire message.” I explained that not everyone could absorb her message at that pace so slowing it down would allow everyone to do so.
The results were immediate and positive. Our phones were answered in a professional manner from that day forward. The receptionist felt good about what she was doing and how she was doing it. Priceless!
Try it and let me know how it works for you! I love getting feedback. Don’t forget to leave a link back to your own blog too via the commentluv feature here on this site!
Until next time,
Drew
I was struck by a paragraph in Aron Ralston’s book, 127 Hours (Now a Feature Movie!) where he states: “There’s a mostly unspoken acknowledgement among the voluntarily impoverished dues-payers of our towns that it’s better to be fiscally poor yet rich in experience – living the dream – than to be traditionally wealthy but live separate from one’s passions. There is an undercurrent of attitude among the high-country proletariat that to buy one’s way back into the experience of resort life is a shameful scarlet letter. Better to be the penniless local than the affluent visitor.”
Last year, one of my colleagues was going through a rough family patch and asked for some time to sort things out. Being the sage that I am, I told this employee that they should take the time they need to heal but to remember, “It’s not what happens to you that defines who you are, it’s how you deal with what happens to you that shows what you are made of”. I’m probably paraphrasing here.
